Heart and Soul and Physicality by Mandy Wintink

I lost my physicality after having a baby… and it lasted for 4 years… until I found trapeze. In September of 2019 I happened upon a circus school by chance and then showed up for an intro class, to find out that by chance I was the only one who signed up because of an administrative error on their website. So I ended up with a private lesson, by chance. That hooked me. I explored a few aerial apparatuses (aka apparati for you Latin'ites out there) but I was drawn to trapeze… and so I focused. Nothing was chance. Trapeze found me when I was ready.

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Neuropsychoidiology of Taste by Mandy Wintink

Do we all taste the same way? Nope. Taste (i.e., the gustatory system) is the result of tiny chemicals from foods that are detected by receptors deep within the taste buds on the tongue. Taste also requires the participation of smell (i.e., the olfactory system) where tiny chemicals are detected by receptors in the nose. Taste also incorporates stimulation of the trigeminal nerve (one of the 12 cranial nerves), which codes for texture, pain, and temperature. The way in which this manifests in each individual varies. I love cilantro. But I have a friend who thinks cilantro tastes terrible, like soap in fact. She’s not alone. These people have olfactory-receptor genes that allow them to taste flavours in aldehydes (i.e., a broken-down component of alcohol) that they call “soapy”.

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Obsessive-Compulsive Experiences by Mandy Wintink

I was very superstitious as a kid, which generally would wax and wane. During one period of my life — probably high school — I was tortured by the compulsive practice of “knock on wood”. Knocking on wood (also referred to as “touch wood”) comes from a Celtic/Pagan tradition of invoking the spirits that were thought to live in trees in order to avoid tempting fate. For example, if I thought “I haven’t gotten sick in a while” I would need to knock on wood right after so that I would avoid that coming true. These are the type of thoughts that make us think, Shit, I wish I didn't think that! Or that we just jinxed being well, as per that above example.

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Can Coffee Cure My Depressive Feelings? by Mandy Wintink

WRITTEN about 8 years ago…

Background: I don’t drink coffee regularly (anymore). I quit over a year ago. I occasionally have a cup of coffee on the weekends and every once in awhile the barista mixes up my decaffeinated order with a regular coffee - and believe me I can tell! Coffee normally does one of two things to me. It either puts me WAY over the edge, has my entire body buzzing, and makes me sick to my stomach with anxiety. The other thing coffee does to my is gives me a “liquid-high experience”, which involves a state of complete bliss, wonderfulness, and a deep sense that life is absolutely amazing and perfect. I yearn for that experience. It reminds me of moments laying a dock in the sun, a good yoga practice, or the time I took anxiety medication for 5 months. 

One, I wanted to test the hypothesis that caffeine can cure my depression. So I walked down to a coffee shop and got myself a soya cortado — espresso-based drinks are the BEST for invoking a liquid high, in my experience. I began sipping all the way out the door, down the street back to my place, and as I continue to type right now. And then BOOM, just as expected (~ 45 minutes for peak caffeine to hit the brain), I am hit with my welcomed liquid inspiration. Bye-bye depression! Beautifully orchestrated. 

So why does this happen? Well, scientific evidence suggests that caffeine, although a stimulant, does not appear to work through the dopamine neurotransmitter system, like the other common stimulants, cocaine and amphetamine. Caffeine (and the similar stimulant, Theophylline, which is predominant in tea) appears to work on the adenosine neurotransmitter system. Outside of the brain, adenosine has a role in the basic biochemical energy process as part of the compound ATP (aka adenosine triphosphate). Adenosine is also one of the nucleosides in RNA. But in the brain, it seems to function like a neurotransmitter and plays a role in wakefulness. Adenosine is also responsible for the drowsiness we feel after a period of sleep deprivation. Adenosine has several receptors that it works on, one of which is denoted as A2A. Interestingly, caffeine blocks this specific receptor subtype. More interesting, is that blocking this receptor subtype also shows antidepressant effects in several animal models of depression.  So… did coffee cure my depression today? Most likely.

Shoulder's Back, Heart Open by Mandy Wintink

I got on a crowded bus one morning. There was one seat left between two people spilling over from their own seats. As I sat down in between them my shoulder were forced to scrunch in front of me pushing my chest to sink back just so that I could fit in. All of a sudden I felt insecure, shy, and somewhat on the defence. I was intrigued by the experience because, from what I could tell, there was no reason for me to feel this way. In fact, what was happening, was that my brain was reacting to a conditioning in my body in which previous experiences of being insecure and shy resulted in my shoulders coming forward. This is a common defensive posture in animals where they cover their heart and their bodies draw inward in attempt to protect themselves.

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The Feminine Way by Mandy Wintink

The feminine way is nurturing, holistic, and heartfelt. That’s what we (the whole world) is thirsty for and current events prove that. The shift has been happening for a long time. Old school feminists and environmentalists have been waiting for this yet some of us only got a good dose of this the day that Trump was elected. That sparked the largest women’s rally ever and spurred yearly women’s marches. That also spurred the #MeToo movement that, although it actually started long before 2017, took off and made use of the unprecedented platform that social media gave us to share the stories that we all held inside. That #MeToo movement shook the world in many ways. And by world, I do mean world, not just my egocentric notion of what was happening in North America. Women all of the world were speaking up, even when it compromised their freedom and life.

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Trauma of Being a Mom by Mandy Wintink

Calling my motherhood “traumatic” is not being overdramatic. In fact, it wasn’t until a recent therapy session that I acknowledge it as such. I am currently seeing two therapists to help me heal and deal with the last 4 years of my life. I have spent a lot of this time feeling isolated, overwhelmed, and helpless. For awhile, I thought I had postpartum depression. But it lasted too long to be that and it never did feel like the right descriptor. I accepted it mostly due to the lack of any other suitable label. Then I started calling my experience ‘Postpartum Rage’. That felt better. Or ‘Postpartum Insanity’ worked well enough too. I wasn’t using these terms casually but I think they come across that way. I tried to reach out to friends and professionals but nothing came of it. I thought I was speaking up, but people didn’t understand the severity, which I guess was because I didn’t communicate it properly. So maybe, calling it ‘trauma' will do something for me or maybe for someone else.

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All was going well... by Mandy Wintink

All was going well and then the socks wouldn’t go on the right way. So he spent 5 minutes trying and getting frustrated. Then another 10 minutes with the shirt. Most of which was thinking about the right way to do it, with little action but growing frustration on both our parts.

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The failing university and the rise of a MicroDegree by Mandy Wintink

For the past 20 years, I have been painfully watching the university struggle through an identity crisis trying to maintain itself as an institution of academic and intellectual rigor while being challenged to offer 21st Century Skills that students can apply to the workforce, yet doing justice to neither. I predict that soon it will become obsolete, irrelevant, or a merchant of credentials, or a combination of all three, with little connection to intellectual stimulation or development. As a parent to a 4-year old, I’m already thinking about how my child will have to convince me that going to university is a worthwhile investment of time or money when alternatives might do a much better job.

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Grey Hairs by Mandy Wintink

I have always really loved feeling playing with my hair. I have been dyeing, highlighting, straightening, curling, crimping, scrunching, lemon-juicing, peroxiding, beer and avocado conditioning, up-doing, topsy tailing, pony-tailing, side pony-tailing, braiding, french braiding, cutting my own bangs, texturizing, salt-spraying for the beach look etc. forever… and those are just examples off the top of my head, pun appreciated. 

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A Beginner's Mind to Meditation by Mandy Wintink

This is kinda of an intro... but also could be a refresher.. and could serve to deepen a practice because a funny thing about meditation is that a beginner’s mind is ultimately the goal (and the practice). So everyone wins when they come to an introduction to meditation. Same thing for yoga actually but that’s a slightly separate thread.

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How I Taught My Son To Deal With Frustration by Mandy Wintink

When I feel frustrated I get very angry. I’m sure we all do. It’s hard to put the feeling into words but what I can say is that I feel the energy raging through my entire body and it eventually consumes me and all I want is for it to be OUT OUT OUT! I can feel myself about to explode and then become helpless to it as it takes me over. Even if I do succeed in keeping it contained for a little while I know it’s going to come back and erupt, sooner rather than later. And letting it erupt doesn’t really make it feeling that much better anyway. It’s been a helpless and exhausting experience for me made that much worse upon becoming a mom, which I have hear it fairly common. 

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Evolution of Mandyland by Mandy Wintink

This podcast was launched in September, 2017 with a pretty simple goal: record some of my interesting conversations and post them to a podcast platform. I had struggled for years with starting a podcast because I didn’t know if my focus should be on neuroscience, motherhood, life coaching, or something totally different. Then I realized that I could string them all together under the term I had already been stringing my life together: Mandyland. In my world — in Mandyland — all of these ideas do connect. I can see how neuroscience is related to meditation and how feminism is related to business and how neuroscience is related to business and feminism. All of these important elements of my life intersect and I end up in — what I deem as — interesting conversations, conversations that I think deserve attention. 

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My New Normal by Mandy Wintink

My body is the heaviest it’s ever been, with the exception of being pregnant, and sadly I can’t say it’s because I’m loaded up with strong muscles. Nope. It’s fat, due partially to the fact that I devote much less time to working out than I used to before and WHILE I was pregnant and I’m hoping that it’s also partially due to me still breastfeeding. Breastfeeding does help a lot of women lose weight after birth. It definitely helped me. In fact, I was thinner at 8 months postpartum than I am now, again, partially due to the fact that I was still in pretty good shape from pregnancy. But… I have read (with hope) that an extra 10 lbs could stick around while nursing. 

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My Midlife Crisis by Mandy Wintink

It occurred to me recently that I’m having a midlife crisis. For a while I thought it was just residual postpartum depression but I see that the feelings and thoughts that are emerging seem to relate more to my 40s than motherhood per se. So I’m working through this crisis as it comes up… here is the first thought-draft on what’s coming up for me. 

TLDR: I now feel old. 

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Has #MeToo Gone Too Far? by Mandy Wintink

People are tired of #MeToo and feel it’s gone too far. The movement has enabled women to share experiences but it’s just too much. People don’t want to hear about this any more. Some experiences are not even considered that bad. A bad date is not the same as sexual assault. And a comment about what a women looks like is not the same as showing someone your penis or patting her ass. And why can’t women just say no or walk away or close their legs anyway? It seems as though women have taken it upon themselves to call out men, in the process public shaming them and ruining their careers and reputations, instead of leaving it up to the courts. Powerful men are falling from their towers and we can barely keep up with ever new accusation. Surely this is an exaggeration and it’s all too much. Women seem to be taking advantage of this newfound power of social media without regard to the consequences of their actions. People are now worried about their past actions and whether they will come back to haunt them. One women of 2 small boys spoke on CBC about being worried that her boys could do something as teenagers and then be punished later as adults for something they did when acceptable behaviour was different. 

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