The Feminine Way / by Mandy Wintink

Embrace the feminine way. 

The feminine way is nurturing, holistic, and heartfelt. That’s what we (the whole world) is thirsty for and current events prove that. The shift has been happening for a long time. Old school feminists and environmentalists have been waiting for this yet some of us only got a good dose of this the day that Trump was elected. That sparked the largest women’s rally ever and spurred yearly women’s marches. That also spurred the #MeToo movement that, although it actually started long before 2017, took off and made use of the unprecedented platform that social media gave us to share the stories that we all held inside. That #MeToo movement shook the world in many ways. And by world, I do mean world, not just my egocentric notion of what was happening in North America. Women all of the world were speaking up, even when it compromised their freedom and life. 

That movement — #MeToo — lead to the demise of Harvey Weinstein and many more before and to come. Despite the fact that the Weinstein sentencing, which resulted in his 23 years of imprisonment from the State of New York case alone, was overshadowed by the COVID-19 epidemic, the fact remains that his case was unprecedented in the legal system. Never before has the he-said-she-said case ever resulted in that kind of ruling. Most of the cases like that, never see the light of day. The ripple effects are yet to come. 

That movement — #MeToo — also lead to a very action-based organization with the hashtag #TimesUp, which gained lots of momentum for supporting women who did not have the financial means to fight for their rights and risked losing jobs. That non-profit organization worked to effectively redistribute the power bound up in wealth (through donations big and small), skills (e.g., legal skills), and resources to support those who otherwise were voiceless. #TimesUp is taking down big giants, bigger than Harvey Weinstein.

Those movements are connected to what is happening today and by what is happening today, I don’t mean the fear and panic around COVID-19. I mean the underlying energy that some of us are tapped into. 

Friday, I hit my low. I was on the floor crying in frustration. The stress of planning for uncertainty was killing my spirit, my business, and my ability to parent. I’m sure my 4-year-old was feeling it too. I yelled and screamed and frankly, I crumbled. But I remembered something powerful that day, something I forget the first time I broke under my stress years ago. I remembered to reach out. And so I did. I texted two friends and told them I was scared. I was scared of what was about to happen and that I wasn’t strong enough. They didn’t convince me otherwise, but they supported me and I felt less alone.

The weekend came and by the end of Saturday, I felt a shift, not too unlike what I felt the morning after Trump won the US election when I learned about those VERY surprising results. My initial reaction was deep, nauseating disgust. The pit in mine and many other people’s stomach was a sense of complete defeat. There is no doubt in my mind that his winning not only went on to expose the pervasive sexism in the US (and despite our high horse, in Canada too) but his winning was also a result of it. The dread in my body shifted 24 hrs later, in a way that felt similar to this past weekend. Out of those ashes, grew a sense of true and authentic optimism. The first time, I didn’t know to trust it as deeply as I do today. But this time, I won’t pass off as trivial because it is anything but. This gut feeling of how things will be is part of the feminine way. It is a way of knowing that has been oppressed in humans for way too long. But no more. Femininity is rising in a miraculous, nurturing, energetic, emotional, creative, inspiring, and powerful way. 

I don’t know how this is going to all play out and won’t pretend I can forecast but I’m not sure that actually matters. Attempting to know through conventional and existing means would dilute the change that is coming and reduce it to something that it is not. The change is beyond what I can imagine. Maybe others more tapped in can imagine but I can’t. For me, it’s a feeling for now. Yet, without a clear vision, a clear feeling can and will guide us, which brings us to today. 

What can we do, today with this feminine way on the rise? We can be of service to each other, to our communities, to our world, and to our earth. We can tap into what is inside of us and ask, “What value do I have to offer?”. For me, the answer is somewhere within what I do best, like seeking and sharing knowledge and experiences, teaching and inspiring others, building communities of support, engage with my entrepreneurial and creative solutions, and having lots of energy. with all this, I can not only weather the storm, I can be a leader, a leader of the feminine way. Except, leadership now is not about hierarchy. Leadership in the feminine way is a way of being and letting that energy ripple. 

I embrace the feminine way and I encourage everyone who can to do so. If this post speaks to you, then HELLO! We get it and let’s spread it. If this post peaked something new in you, then trust that and go with it. If this post landed with neutrality, that’s ok. Perhaps a seed was planted that someone else will water and watch grow. If you disagree with this post or if it angered you in any way, that’s ok. I can hold space for that. Because that is the feminine way.

Good luck feminine wayriors, we are stronger together and we’ve got this. It certainly isn’t the first time the weight of the world has rested on our shoulders. We’ve been training for this our entire existence. 

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Thank you Victoria for helping me clarify all this yesterday!